Today I am featuring an excellent article I found by business and management coach Martin Haworth on how to build rapport quickly and easily in eight steps.
So over to Martin
By building rapport quickly, you instantly create excellent relationships for your business success. In this article you will find eight simple skills to get your quick and easy relationship building off to a great start!
Building quick rapport is all about creating a relationship, in the moment. And this is vital in business, education, friendships and many other areas of life. We need relationships to help us get the things we want for ourselves in our lives, like money, promotions, success, partners and above all to feel part of society.
You see we are social animals, us humans and if we find it challenging to make relationships, then we feel excluded. And that ain't comfortable.
So, let's build rapport quickly and easily in the just eight easy steps. Try a few; try them all - print this out as a reminder - have fun with it and see the difference!
1. Pay Attention
Now some will say that you must make continued eye contact, but, you know, some folks find that invasive and threatening. So match what they do, if they look at you, look at them.
But whatever you do, ensure that you give an appropriate level of attention to them. In Dale Carnegie's wonderful book, 'How to Win Friends & Influence People', he tells a story of how he sat next to someone at dinner one evening. All night his fellow guest talked; all night Carnegie listened.
A few weeks later, he was amazed to hear from a mutual friend how interesting his dinner companion had found him - even though Carnegie said virtually nothing all evening!
2. Value Them
..which leads us to how you relate to them. If someone is talking to you about something, make sure you show you value what they are saying, by asking them at least one additional open question about what they are talking to you about.
Remember these? The 6 W's of HoW, What, Where, When, Why or Who. Six easy, helpful, interested open question types that start quickly to show you are interested in them, building a really fast relationship..
3. Be Like Them
By matching physically, you will make a far greater impression. So, if they are standing, stand, leaning forward, lean forward.
Ever spoken to a child? What did you do - you crouched down, didn't you. Why? Because you felt more able to communicate. It works well for big people too!
4. Follow Up
How often have you discussed something and then it hasn't been followed through afterwards. Promises not kept. And how did that leave your relationship with that person? Not good eh?
Following through on what you promise is not just good practice, it is vital if you want to build a strong, trusting relationship. People notice, even when you don't. Also remember to underpromise and overdeliver.
5. Laugh a Lot
Laughter is a powerful tool in building relationships - you are sharing the same emotion, in the same moment. Ever seen two people in fits of laughter? How strong was that bond then? Pretty strong, I guess. Ever been there yourself? Yes, you know the feeling. It works, so share the fun and joy of the moment.
6. Hear Them
It is not about listening, it's about hearing them. So what's the distinction here? It means being so with the person that you sense other things beneath the words. This is a very powerful tool you can use.
Further sensitive questioning then adds into your evidence, which can give you great clues to help build the relationship.
7. Be The Audience
Remember that when you are talking, you might be using the same language, but you hear it with different ears, different experiences and altogether a different 'take' on the words.
A great coach I know, Elaine Wylie, had a problem with her cell phone one day and heard a serious echo. She heard herself fully before her caller responded. It was very revealing. So hear what you are saying from your audience's 'ears'.
8. Give space - Listen up
Have you ever spoken to someone uninterrupted for as long as it took to say all you had to say? Were there spaces where it went quiet? What did you say next?
In Nancy Kline's wonderful book 'Time to Think' she explores great exercises to do just that. The experience is magical. Give your listener space to talk and let them fill the silences. You will have pure rapport and a recognition that you care so much.
So that's all there is to it. There maybe a few other things, but get these ideas somewhere like right and it will create relationships of value for you all over the place - through the rapport you have built in the moment.
Daunted? Don't be. Try one or two at a time and see the reaction - play with these ideas. Build your confidence. Enjoy the learning to Build Rapport Fast!
(c) 2008 Coaching Businesses To Success. Martin Haworth is a Business and Management Coach. There are hundreds of hints, tips, ideas and articles at his website, http://www.Coaching-Businesses-To-Success.com
Thanks Martin for letting me republish your great article on building rapport. Soft skills like rapport building are so important when working towards success.
Have you ever noticed how some people (perhaps friends from school or university) have always been popular and then when they entered the world of work, they were on the fast track to success?
It's because they have developed this wonderful ability to build strong, lasting relationships with people who can and do help them because they are liked and trusted.
Some people just have the special knack of putting people at ease and within minutes of meeting a new person are then chatting away like best friends and that's because they have honed their natural rapport building skils.
Working with people you like makes business easy and fun while working with people who you dislike and don't trust quickly becomes extremely stressful.
Business growth expert Peter Thomson has a saying:
"When the relationship works, all the major problems are minor. When the relationship doesn't work, all the minor problems become major."
If you trust someone you know that they will be fair and see that any problem is put right and solved equitably. If you don't trust someone, you waste time looking for the problems and the catches in a deal and then try to protect your corner.
So How Can Rapport Building Help Your Business?
The first obvious place is in your sales process.
Some sales trainers (including Chet Holmes) teach that building rapport is step one in the selling process.
But I'm not talking about the cheesy rep who picks up the photograph of little Johnny on your desk and says "What a beautiful little boy" but genuine rapport as explained in Martin's article.
People buy from people they like and they like people like themselves
You show the prospective customer that you are interested in them, their problems and finding the right solution and not one that "will do" and makes you a fast buck.
The next place is with the relationships with your employees and team members. The more they like and respect you, the more willing they will be to help you to work towards your business vision.
Next are your suppliers. You may see your suppliers as people to be squeezed as hard as possible but often there are all kinds of extra concessions and favours you can receive if you are liked.
I recommend that everyone grade their customers and one of the factors determining grading is how much you like working with them. I perhaps take this further than most but one of the prime factors in me agreeing to work with a one-to-one coaching client is that I must like them and really want to help them.
Martin also mentioned a book (also available as an audio) called "How To Win Friends And Influence Them" by Dale Carnegie. It is a classic although I should say that it is also quaint. It was published back in 1936 and it seems strange to read stories about Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt.
Wikipedia has a short summary of the key factors from "How To Win Friends" which is well worth reading and learning the techniques.
Building rapport is the first step to creating great relationships and that will put you on the fast track to success, however you choose to define it.
To Your Success
Your Profit Coach
Paul Simister
Business coaching for customer focused entrepreneurs
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